Announcing: The Spring Olympics

I am pretty proud to make this announcement. I think we have created a new frontier to be broken by the skilled and committed.

We call it... The Spring Olympics.

While watching the Winter Olympics I became inspired. I am watching them on NBC - one of the biggest television networks in the US. The rad moves on the snowboards and how they race each other down the hill. Thats fun seeing them push each other. Then I think they had to do 2 shots... maybe it was 3. Pretty awesome rad gnarley if you ask me. They had some people dancing as well... but not on a dance floor - but on ice. They do big smiles and things with their hands. They jump once or twice and spin... Always a spin though.. Never a flip. I think whomever has the widest smile regardless of how many times you fall gets the gold medal. I think if you can crash your ass into ice in front of everyone and still smile weirdly and widely you get more points. Thats pretty cool.

So.. here is my plan for The Spring Olympics.

- Sell it to a big tv network. Looks to me they will buy ANYTHING with the word Olympics in it. So before I even come up with what is going to be in it - I am going to sell broadcast rights... For millions. Maybe even billions so it makes more news.

- No judges. All medals awarded by text messaging.

- Ryan Seacrest to judge

- Opening ceremony will be one person from each country in a house with cameras everywhere trying to get famous.

- Here is my short list for events:

Skateboarding - If snowboarding is in winter... then its forefather Skateboarding has to be in.
Hackey Sack
Taxi Run- taxi drivers from all over the world race have to pick up random people at the top of Central Park and get them to Battery Park first.
Reality Games brought to by Sparky Batteries:
Bachelor Boxing - bachelorette vs bachelor
Amazing Race vs Survivor
Kelly Clarkson vs Clay Aitken (real winner)
Xbox 360 Challenge
Playstation 2 Challenge
Water Bikes - those big water bike things - but people who are the best worldwide.
Strongest Man in the World

They are just a few ideas... I mean, to me, the Olympics used to be about these phenomenal athletes - like Gabrasellesi of the 10,000 metre race and Sergei Buddhka and Rob DeCastella and the fastest and strongest people in the air. I think the people competing in the Winter Olympics thing are very good at what they do and hats off for them putting a lot of effort into it and its admirable. But is it an Olympic Sport ? Perhaps its more of an X-Games... or a Snow Games thing ?

I think I could imagine a kid waking up one day and saying I want to be the fastest runner in the world... That seems like the beginning of an Olympic story to me.

But apparently... the whole Olympics thing has now been widened to someone who has woken up and said I want to grab a snowboard and do some tricks man... or I want to lay on a piece of plastic and race down an ice ride.... So i think i might cash in and get this Spring Olympics thing up and make a video game out of it and get a soft drink and cell phone company to sponsor it and get their name next to the words Olympics and sick freakin ride homie.